From my experience, it is becoming increasingly difficult to finish what I am saying, if what I am saying extends beyond a few seconds. This is a combination of my long windedness and the short attention spans of us all. There certainly is a lot going on in the world and our means of communication has tended towards instant and short. We also tend to fill all the "space in-between" or down time with something, anything to capture our attention. This has made real changes in conversation. How deep can we get if we only have a few seconds with each other? Not very.
Knowing this, Midlanders must diligently practice the fine art of extreme listening. Extreme listening really is nothing more than listening in a time of extremes and in the midst of more and more extremists. This kind of listening means sustaining ourselves mentally and following along while subduing the impulse to interrupt the speaker. Domineering people will interrupt and derail a conversation if they do not like what is being said. They will utilize brute force to steer the conversation to what they want to be said. To truly engage and find middle ground, both sides must be able to say what is on their mind, without interruption. After the speaker has finished speaking or wants to take a break and receive feedback, those of us in the middle can shine because we have listened and considered.
Consideration means listening in quiet contemplation and attempting to place yourself into the place of the speaker, to find middle ground. After we have done this, our response is critical. Can we offer constructive feedback so as to bring further insights into what was said? Can we encourage the speaker? Encouragement means to place courage into another person. When we have considered and offered careful and graceful feedback, we can literally place courage into the mind of the speaker. From the speakers' perspective, they have been listened to, what they said was considered and in response we have found our common ground. Even when offering criticism, it can be done with grace in an attempt to lift another up! Try it and notice how easy it is to bring others to the common ground in the middle.
Knowing this, Midlanders must diligently practice the fine art of extreme listening. Extreme listening really is nothing more than listening in a time of extremes and in the midst of more and more extremists. This kind of listening means sustaining ourselves mentally and following along while subduing the impulse to interrupt the speaker. Domineering people will interrupt and derail a conversation if they do not like what is being said. They will utilize brute force to steer the conversation to what they want to be said. To truly engage and find middle ground, both sides must be able to say what is on their mind, without interruption. After the speaker has finished speaking or wants to take a break and receive feedback, those of us in the middle can shine because we have listened and considered.
Consideration means listening in quiet contemplation and attempting to place yourself into the place of the speaker, to find middle ground. After we have done this, our response is critical. Can we offer constructive feedback so as to bring further insights into what was said? Can we encourage the speaker? Encouragement means to place courage into another person. When we have considered and offered careful and graceful feedback, we can literally place courage into the mind of the speaker. From the speakers' perspective, they have been listened to, what they said was considered and in response we have found our common ground. Even when offering criticism, it can be done with grace in an attempt to lift another up! Try it and notice how easy it is to bring others to the common ground in the middle.
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